I'm working on grades for the kids this week. It is a difficult and draining process for me, and one that I never enjoy. But Patrick's college applications will go much more smoothly next fall if he has grades on an official transcript. So I have to get them done for his sake, and for John's and mine, really. We will stress less during the application process if my part of the job is done.
And in the back of my mind, I'm pondering next year. Patrick's senior year with Meghan as a toddler who learned to climb stairs this week, even though she can't walk yet. It's going to be a challenging year all around. Matthew is ready for a bit more direction. Joseph is pretty independent, but only in third grade after all. And Katie starts junior high--7th grade.
And I wonder. Can I handle this again? I'm not getting any younger and I have been battling ear infections all winter that have drained my energy reserves. Granted, Meghan's personality is very different from Matthew's, just as Patrick's personality is very different from Tommy's. I'm dealing with a familiar situation, but differing needs all around. So it is hard for me to figure out how I'm going to make it all work so that we stay focused enough to finish well, but still enjoy our last year with Patrick at home.
Because we know how hard it is to get them back once they go away to school on another continent. Even if it is our home continent. :(
On my breaks, I've been reading, thinking, praying, pondering, looking for encouragement, ideas, solutions to this problem that is a bit of a cloud over my life right now. Then, this morning, I read this blog post, which inspired me to stop thinking and make a list. Which is an idea that if you know me, you will know appeals to me. :-) This weekend, I want to start brainstorming our most important needs and priorities. And then plan the coming year based on them. Not something I haven't done before, but something I haven't thought about in awhile.
I'm going to share the blog post with John when he and Patrick get home from Boy Scout camp. One thing I know for sure is that I don't want to leave his needs out of the equation. I am not meant to parent these little people he loves and helped create without him. But if I don't hear what he needs (and each of the older kids, too, for that matter), I will probably create some overly optimistic and highly demanding schedule for us all to follow next fall, and John's needs and priorities might easily be left out.
There's more, too. I can't forget the power of God's grace in our lives. I can't forget to trust that with prayer and discernment, He will lead us to His perfect plan for our year. The one that will help us achieve our highest priority for next year: getting our children one year closer to Heaven.
Maybe this is how I should spend my vacation: praying and talking, listening and planning, reconnecting and hoping.
1 comment:
You "lose" them once they go to college, even if it is on the same continent, in the next state, or just across the river. I guess it's just time for them to try doing it on their own. You hope they learned what you tried to teach them for the past 18 years!!!The good part for a parent is that when they make a mistake, it's THEIR mistake, not yours, and they are responsible for "fixing" it, not you. It does strengthen the learning process. One just keeps praying for them, and commenting when they allow it!!!
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